ROMANCE OF A SAILOR (Having a heavy burden of olden discernment of Seaman)

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.
I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.
And it shall come to pass in that day, I will hear, saith the LORD, I will hear the heavens, and they shall hear the earth;
And the earth shall hear the corn, and the wine, and the oil; and they shall hear Jezreel.
And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God.
(Hos 2:19-23)


Love makes the world go round. And everyone needs it, including the sailor. It can blind the mind and embrace the heart. Finding love is blissful; losing it can be catastrophic. It is often said that sailors have a wife in every port. This leads to the conclusion that they must be a great lover; that women all over the world want them for a husband, and that they don’t mind having to share (the fact on the contrary). Or does it? As likely as not, it only serves to proclaim how undesirable their behavior is. Olden discernment regarding seaman had been entrenched down to people mindset about this poor seaman and affected to the present highly dedicated, professionalism and accountable seaman.

With minimal port stay, the new breed of sailors are likely to see only airports, hotels, mariner’s club, remote oil terminals, container ports, and just maybe, once in a while, have a few hours to go shopping and sightseeing. With tight schedules and ever-present work (dealing with mountainous paper works and check-list), there is little time for social life ashore. The seaman would have to be either a magician or Superman to have a wife in every port. In addition, oh yes, he would have to be paid extremely well. It is costly enough maintaining one family these days.

For those fortunate enough to meet their mates before going out to sea face tearful partings and costly phone calls. It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But that works for short duration, not six months to a year. Extended absences are a real test for any relationship. Some claim that out of sight is out of mind. I tend to disagree. Love is never forgotten. It is felt not just in the heart but all over. Not to be with one’s loved ones is painful. It is especially tough for the family man.
For me, and most of the seaman, the most daunting period is when it is time to go back to sea. Taking out the suitcase that has hardly been allowed time for the dust to settle and acquire my itinerant ticket at Airliner’s Counter brought a sullen expression on the face of the spouse (if she can get along well with a seaman she must be an extraordinary creature, time-proof, and abscond-proof GOD specialized presented for SEAMAN). No fond farewells. Instead, there is a cold silence or loud remonstrations to make the sailor feel guilty. Moreover, when we crossed “SAM RATULANGI" (Manado Airport) Airport threshold gate. Still, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A fortunate few are allowed to bring their families along with them. It is a privilege but not entirely a blessing.